Nest

horse hair nest, originally uploaded by sandig.urbanspace.

"Nesting" is on my mind right now. Normally I hate that expression, because people always seem to use it to describe the phenomenon whereby heavily pregnant women start cleaning everything in sight. And I am neither pregnant (!) or filled with an urge to clean. But I *am* on a search.

I'm trying to find a home. I still feel a bit like a displaced person, and I always knew the time I was to spend at the Vista was temporary, much as I do love it. It's the arrival of a couple of things (Hubert and the Stiffy puppy) that are pushing me to look further. And I'm thwarted by the fact that I can't buy anything yet as I haven't got the old house settled (that's out of my hands right now). Part of me thinks well maybe that's a good thing, as I still don't know what area I need to live in. (I sure can't afford my first choices.) Maybe I'm supposed to have time to regroup before I invest in a house.

But I don't like being homeless. So I wonder if renting is the answer...the temporary answer. And then I get all the usual doubts like how it's throwing away money and how I'd be better off getting back into some property as soon as possible as I'm crap with saving money. Part of me is thoroughly fed up by the money issue and having to compromise all the time. In my little brain I say "Well I don't think I'm asking for much...just to live somewhere pleasant in a safe neighbourhood with room for Hubert and the pets and Miss C and the piano..." and I stamp my wee foot. (That's in my head, in my life I have big flat feet. The girl at the shoe shop last week called them "fleshy" Pfft.)

So I've thought. And thought. And then made a decision. Rent somewhere I like for a bit longer. With a yard for Stiffy. And sort my long term shit out later. Because I'm oh-so-sick of people telling me the "right" and "sensible" thing to do. I just want a home with the things I love.