Monday, February 22, 2010

I can't quite explain...

so maybe someone out there can shed some light on it for me? I just read a very lovely blog post by my cousin about my other cousin getting married. Of course I thought, "how lovely, good on them, etc etc" but the other part of me just went "Meh." I don't want to be bad natured, and I sure don't mean to be, but every time I hear about someone getting married or making plans, I just want to scream "Don't do it!!!!!!!!" I've never been interested in marriage or babies, and certainly didn't spend my childhood play time dreaming of my big white wedding and perfect married life. And I know you might be thinking that this is just a result of failing at my own marriage, but somehow it's deeper than that, and I can't explain it. I have plenty of examples of good solid lasting marriages (parents 40 something years, still going, sister coming up to a couple of decades now with her hubby) but I just can't be positive about it. Am I afraid of commitment? Or do I have a problem with the whole wedding debacle rather than being married per se? I don't know, and I just don't understand. I'm sure it's not sour grapes, to me it seems more like fear. I just don't know what I'm afraid of.


  1. hhhhmmmmm could be a mixture.
    One part - You are finding your feel again dear Steph so you can comment from the other side of the fence.
    One part - Sometimes marriage talk is really boring. Lovely for the couple involved. Boring for everybody else.
    One part - I personally view weddings as a huge waste of money. I just finished wedding invitations and the materials alone cost $400...let alone my time. It's just paper that gets chucked in the bin.
    One part - rock steady relationships don't get talked about as much as the ones that break down.

    It's not sour grapes Steph. You get excited for anyone. It's just a time thing. It's like asking someone right after getting wisdom teeth out 'did it hurt?' yes....doesn't mean you won't get the other 3 pulled.

  2. I like Toni's reply :).

    I did want to add to that that rock steady relationships are very likely not rock steady all the way from day one til "death do us part", there's bound to be hurdles, big and small, along the way.

    The most conflict I've ever had with my stepmom was during my wedding preparations! Hubby & I didn't have a pricy, elaborate wedding (it was actually quite inexpensive, dress included), but in hindsight I do wish we'd just gone to a resort, just the two of us, and had the ceremony that way. Then come back and had a celebration party without all the wedding-related rituals.


  3. There's a good reason I never bothered getting married.... but would you believe that it's cheaper to divorce than legally separate?

  4. I never dreamt of the whole wedding thing either. And I certainly thought I would be the single one in the family for life..
    our decision to get married was more of a committment to each other, family only invite and I wore a Black dress and had an ice cream cake! Tried our best for a cheap do!
    Myself and Mr S come from divorced parents on both sides so we I guess happen to have a good bond. But not everyone loves eachother for eternity, thats just life! Some people blossom on their own!!! And thats just fine and dandy too! I watched for most of my twenties friends having Boys and me nothing! And yes its hard to be happy for someone if it bothers you. Same as when I hear someone else say they are pregnant, I wanna say whoopty doo!
    You have the Kittehs that love you and friends that love you and that is all one needs!!!


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